i have been thinking about the concept of presence that Eckhart finds so essential... it seems to me that, since he defines 'being present' as being in contact with your ontological (fundamental) self, with Being, and since he equates Being with my concept of God (without gender, completely outside time, yet indwelling with all humanity), then Eckhart is in essence saying that truly being present is being in commune/contact with Being (God)... this means being truly present would put one smack dab in the center of God's kingdom here on earth... which would definitely give us the grace, space, and power to promote Shalom for all species of being. this in turn implies our active participation with God to actually realize God's vision of reconciliation (Shalom) to all beings and between all beings on earth.

 so, if being present means union and participation with God, and if this could be seen as a sort of heaven on earth, what would the opposite look like?  i think Jean-Paul Sartre gave us a pretty good pic in his classic play, "Huis Clos" (No Exit, in English i believe)... here we have 3 ppl, completely at odds in sexuality and in temperament and in world view, who have died and are stuck in a room with... no exit.  they cannot sleep or even close their eyes (their eyelids have atrophied), and while they are completely aware of what goes on in their former lives as well as what goes on within the room they share, they can do nothing (make no decisions) to affect or change their sitch in any way... these ppl are all v. self-oriented, and completely out of touch (Eckhart would say 'unconscious') with any real feelings, even for themselves.  nothing can change, so everything stays the same, contrasted to the lives of their former world, where ppl make choices and move onward... sort of like "Groundhog Day" on acid - a true hell...

  today is donathan's b'day... i get younger every time he has one since the day before his b'day i am four years older, but the next day i am only three years older... so i offered to pamper him and indulge him in whatever way his heart desired > he worked three hours of overtime, and then wanted to watch MXC (which is ok, but not quite what i had in mind) and after dinner he claimed his indulgence, so i..... updated and "typed" his resumé... i wonder if i will end up doing cover letters for him on valentine's day?  oh well, sometimes u just gotta say "wtf"...

 my boss hired her sister back to 'help' me with special projects becz i am behind... so her first project was to be trained by me which put me two hours behind... maybe i am missing something here?  the only good thing is that if i can get her up to speed, and if i get accepted to seminary in the fall, and if i can get loans to pay for it, she can take my job and i won't feel guilty about leaving my bosses hi and dri...

a v. close friend told me a wonderful joke [well, wonderful for us (theological) geeky types anyway]>  two ppl were attending a lecture by a prominent German scholar, and after the scholar had gone on for about half an hour, they realized they were bored rigid, so one turned to the other and said "well, i think i've had it - let's leave" and the other replied, "ok, i agree, but lets at least wait until he reaches the verb"... (rim shot)

 "...perhaps the sexes are more related than we think, and the great renewal of the world will perhaps consist in this - that man and maid, freed of all false feelings and reluctances, will seek each other not as opposites but as brother and sister, as neighbors, and will come together as human beings, in order simply, seriously, and patiently to bear in common the difficult sex that is laid upon them... "

"Because he loves as a man only, not as human being, for this reason there is in his sexual feeling something narrow, seeming wild, spiteful, time-bound, uneternal...This advance will change the love experience...alter it from the ground up, reshape it into a relation that is meant to be of one human being to another, no longer of man to woman..."

"And this more human love (that will fullfil itself, infinitely considerate and gentle, and kind and clear in binding and releasing) will resemble that which we are preparing with struggle and toil, the love that consists in this, that two solitudes protect and border and salute each other."

-Rainer Maria Rilke

Eckhart Tolle has been talking about worrying and waiting: “You are identified with your mind, which is projecting itself into an imaginary future situation and creating fear.  There is no way you can cope with such a situation, because it doesn’t count… All that you ever have to deal with, to cope with, in real life – as opposed to imaginary mind projections – is this moment… What is wrong with this moment?  You can always cope with the Now, but you can never cope with the future – nor should you have to.  The answer, the strength, the right action or the resource will be there when you need it, not before, not after…Is your goal taking up so much of your attention that you reduce the present moment to a means to an end?… Are you waiting to start living?…”(p 85)  >You will never be ‘x’ enough, so you might as well do it now!< 

“Waiting is a state of mind. Basically it means that you want the future; you don’t want the present… You can improve your life situation, but you cannot improve your life.  Life is primary.  Life is your deepest inner Being.  It is already whole, complete, perfect.”  >Shalom is present within – God’s reconciliation just waits to be claimed.<  “The mistake lies in using [goals] as a substitute for the feeling of life, for Being.  The only point of access for that is the Now… When you fully accept what you have got, you are grateful for what you have got, grateful for what is, grateful for Being…” (p 86) >It’s not having what you want, it’s wanting what you’ve got – Sheryl Crow<  “So give up waiting as a state of mind.  When you catch yourself slipping into waiting – snap out of it.  Come into the present moment.  Just be and enjoy being…” (p 87)

In Perth Amboy this morning, and crossing Water Street, I enter the parking lot of the Raritan Yacht Club, where I decide to sit for a while on a bench.  Stretching out into the water to my left is a fishing pier, the locked gate at the land end tells of it being private property; across the Kill from the pier is Staten Island.  The sun is not very high yet, and silvers the water rippling in from the bay – if I shade my eyes I can see the Atlantic Highlands along the horizon.  The only other people are an ambulance crew taking a break in the parking lot behind me.  They barely make my radar until they start feeding a pigeon, which draws flocks of screaming gulls.

More to avoid guano than anything else, I begin to walk south.  Once I pass the Yacht Club itself, there are no more people, and soon the sound of sanders against fiberglass hulls fades away.  Looking out over the water I see a mix of fresh water ducks, Canada geese, cormorants (aka concubines…), a few brown gulls, but mostly I see the smaller, gray gulls.  Peace steals over me, and all is so still that when a flock of sparrows flies overhead, I can hear their feathers in flight.  I have become conscious of the sun, warm on my face, and the slight wind as well, coming from the land.  Smells of salt water mixed with fresh…the sounds of wind and wave against the shore…the cries of gulls…the cawing of crows from the city behind me… (I have always loved the calls of crows, and the years that West Nile Virus decimated their populations stand out as the most silent summers I remember.)

As I walk, I feel my legs move, swinging freely from my hips, and I try to make as little sound as I can.  My breath, contrary to the labored asthma of the night, moves easily in and out.  I am aware of the sense of God, of Being, that is present in the trees and the grass, the snow, and even the gulls lined up on the railing.  Trying to move while remaining in the Now, and staying connected to the deep feeling of Shalom, I notice that even the gulls that are within touching distance do not move, although they push off in screaming flight when another walker goes by… Did you know that, while ducks just dip their heads below the waterline to feed, tipping their butts to the sky, seagulls leap into the air about a foot, then dive directly into the water to get their food?

A friend revealed to me that they were not 100% sure/comfortable about the practice of Paedopatism... so this post is for her...excerpted from a paper, so pls excuse any (in this case inadvertant) pedantism...

Paedobaptism is the baptism of infants.  In contrast to those churches, such as the Baptist churches, whivh practice the ‘baptism of believers’, the sacrament of baptism is administered to infants in the Roman Catholic, Anglican, Lutheran, Presbyterian, Methodist and other Protestant churches.  While not having the amount of scriptural support enjoyed by the baptism of believers, infant baptism can be supported by Scripture in the story in Acts of the baptism of the jailor and all his family (presumably there were infants and young children).  Likewise, when Jesus commanded his disciples to go and baptize in the Name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, he clearly did not specify who should receive this baptism.  Our Lord is silent in this regard.

Baptism is regarded as a sacrament by most mainline churches, although for the Baptist it is considered an ordinance, not a sacrament.  Whether or not it holds sacramental value, baptism is considered to be the primary rite of initiation into the Christian faith.  There is some question as to what happens during baptism, not just with the sign of water or the seal of the promises of Christ.  There seems to be an underlying something that has even the Baptist church, which does not view the rite as a sacrament, still considering it a requirement for membership.

One view of the sacrament is as being an opportunity for communal witness, for the community of faith into which the baby is born to make promises to support the child in his/her walk of faith, and for the adults to renew their own baptismal vows.  The signs and seals are present, and the adults participate in this communal witness as well.  For others, though, the sacrament is more than that.

Both the Anglican and the Roman Catholic Church hold baptism as a full sacrament, a visible sign of and inward and invisible grace.  The difference comes in the quality of that grace.  The Roman Catholic sees the sacrament as intrinsically imparting grace apart from any action of the baptized, an infused grace, which actually is necessary for salvation.  For the Episcopalian (Anglican), the grace is the grace of God, freely given to all who believe, and is responded to on behalf of the presented child by the parents and godparents of the baby.  The sacrament is not viewed as essential for salvation, but provides a spiritual help for the child’s walk in the Christian life.

Since the infant is not old enough to be able to profess any belief on his/her own, some would question whether the sacrament could be considered valid, let alone efficacious.  As the first step in the Christian life, it is easy to see why parents, thrilled by their own experience of God’s grace, would want their children to partake also.  However, provision should be made for the child to make their own faith profession as soon as they are capable, and this is why most churches that practice infant baptism also have the rite of Confirmation.

I used to be ambivalent about infant baptism.  I felt that it was helpful in keeping parents committed to the Christian path, since they might be more likely to adhere to Christian beliefs and practices if they were providing an example for their children.  I now feel that there is some activity of grace that takes place during the rite that transcends simply being a communal witness.  I feel that if I had not been sealed to Christ’s resurrection and the promises of that resurrection as a child, I might not be studying for the priesthood today.  Because she was baptized as an infant, I rest in the promises of Christ for my niece, who is in the midst of that teenage angst that can often corrupt, if not destroy, faith in God.  I do not see baptism as being necessary for my salvation, but it has been an incredible spiritual help in my journey, and that is due to its inherent grace.  Something happens there, more than just damp hair…

perhaps the hardest thing i have ever done at my job was to remain completely in the present during the two meetings i had today with my boss...all of the signs read that she would be out for blood, but i decided that if i am ever going to practice what Eckhart Tolle preaches i need to start doing, not just 'believing'...and so i did not anticipate, or prepare ahead...i let what she had to say be said, and then i responded to what was actually going on...trying to stay in the moment...

my first self-preserving instinct is to lie. prevaricate. circle the wagons and raise the drawbridge. curl into a ball and protect the underbelly....not this time.

she wins when i compromise myself, my integrity.  what's the worst she can do? fire my ass? then i can collect while i apply to seminary. sounds like a plan.