One day, only one day, after the elation of learning they were selected to host the Olympic Games of 2012, Londoners are faced with the devastation of a terrorist attack.  In thinking about his, having this reality sink into my experience, I realize that what I am experiencing as ineffable sadness contains an equal part of righteous anger.  I am pissed as hell!

Whou could have the temerity to bomb, to shatter, the Shalom of God's world like that?  What on earth could make people think that destroyoing innocent, unkown and unknowing lives could ever make a legitimate political statement?  Jn would tell me that these sort of people are interested neither in a political statement nor legitimacy.  Jn was also correct in saying all this has done has been to harden the resolve of those who remain and witness to resist these (and any) terrorists...

We have lived with terrorism in this country, as well as abroad, for decades - just listen to Paul Simon's "A Church Is Burning", or Lena Horne singing "Strange Fruit"; think about the attacks on abortion clinics and doctors in the 80's and 90's... the Basques... the IRA.. the Serbians (who claimed responsibliity in the bombing of Laguardia Airport that killed my great-aunt)... Kent State and the National Guard...now Al Queda... They all do great acts of evil in order to paralyze the good.  But we will not, cannot, be paralyzed by the fear they create. "They can burn down my churches, but I will be free"  Paul Simon 

For now, all we can do is teach and parent well, work towards Shalom, and pray... hold each other as we mourn...

Jn says that evil is stronger than good, and he makes a well-reasoned case for it when he remarks that it takes months to erect a building, but mere seconds to destroy it.  I would add that it takes years to build a relationship, but again seconds to destroy it.... A neighborhood takes many years to grow into a cohesive enclave, but once a devisive or violent element encroaches, it can decay in months.  Today I learned there are over 1,000,000 gang members in the United States - what does that say for the future of our neighborhoods?  Plainfield has never recovered from the riots of nearly 40 years gone...

There is no way I can quibble with Jn's observations - evidence does suggest that evil is stronger than good.  My objection is to the conclusion.  I believe there is evil in the world, for we see its effect, and I believe that it is a powerful force.  What I do not concede is that evil is stronger than good.  I know evil to be the antithesis of good, of God -- it is the not-God, le néant of Ellul.  This néant, this nothingness, is the true opposite of God's good Creation -- it is the ally of chaos and entropy.  And this is where we start to get at the truth of the nature of good and evil.

Just as in nature all things devolve from a state of order (higher engergy) into chaos (a state of low energy) without a corresponding input of energy, evil is easy and lazy.  It requires little energy.  Order, creation, requires energy -- requires work and participation.  It is not easy to do good.  This does not imply that good is weaker.  If that were so, there would be no hope for Shalom, no order or love left in this world, for evil has had its opportunity for a very long time.

Good is not easily conquered.  Every time lovers meet in a park, or kiss in the silvered moonlight... every time a parent consoles a heart-sick child... every time a friend reaches out a hand to a friend... every time strangers respond to the plight of strangers... This is the energy of participation in goodness, in the continuing work of God's good Creation, in Shalom.  This is the light that drives away le néant, the nothingness, that is evil.

Goodness is light and love -- blazing with energy and life.  Evil is nothingness, a black pit of entropy and death.  Love is stronger than death, stronger than death on a cross.  Good will triumph -- all that is required is your participation.  Evil will only triumph when good people are silent, are lazy, do not participate.

if you wanted a house in the Hamptons, or even in subhurban New Jersey, it is a little late to tell me now... if you want a Lexus, Beemer, or even a high-performance domestic car, you had better tell me now.  these things are not part of the world i am striving to create for myself, for us, and i need to know now how you really feel.  i cannot change directions very much longer - there is truly an intensely limited window of opportunity.

Dj and i have been fighting.  it used to be much harder, but now has beome easier, almost frighteningly so; as it gets closer to the realization of the fruits of my postulancy, it seems as if reality is setting in.  when it was something that would not require him to change, not his lifestyle, not where he lived, not his job, he was all for it; now he is seeing that he, too, must change in order for this to become a reality.  first the debt-reduction > i know he had always intended to accomplish that goal, but at his own pace, and now another has taken charge of telling him what to do and when to do it.  now the reality that we might have to move (meaning he will have to find another job) once i am ordained.  plus the realization that we now have all of the material wealth we will probably ever have...

if you don't want to go somewhere/do something, tell me right away -- don't wait until we are packed and ready to go to say no.  especially if i have been viewing this as my escape, my vacation.  tell me up front.  and don't one year not only pretend to like/understand a hobby, but buy me equipment to pursue it, and then get angry and pout when i do pursue it some years down the road.  be upfront. be honest.  stop leading me on.  no one expects someone to never change their mind, to never alter an opinion, but it is expected that when that does happen, a discussion (renegotiation if you like) will occur.  you shouldn't unilaterally change the rules.

so Dj is living in the future with his past pain as his companion; and half the time i get warped into joining him... Rk and i, on the other hand, tend to be shifting our focus from Now to 'what maybe should have been' - a wonderful street to visit, but so dangerous a dwelling... Ces keeps me anchored - he and i are able to discuss the difficulties of living in the Now, of not getting ahead, or behind, ourselves...

and to the one with whom i share the and the music, i send you

Jeremiah 20: 7-13
Psalm 69: 7-10, 16-18
Romans 5:15b-19
Matthew 10:24-33

Jeremiah gets a bad rep - people always think of him in terms of gloom and doom, of his lamentations.  "Violence and Destruction" he declares, but rightly so!  The world around him is filled with dangers -- Israel is an occupied country and its populace are about to be sent into exile as slaves.  Jeremiah's enemies mock his warnings, and he becomes so fed up with being excoriated for preaching the word of God that he decides to stop. 

But God will not be denied; the Word wells up in Jeremiah and won't be stifled.  He is bested by God and yields.

So with all this message of gloom and doom, why keep the book?  Because the underlying message is one of hope.  Jeremiah realizes that even though God has forced him to yeild, God is NOT his enemy, but an awesome, almighty Champion, a warrior hero.  And as the warrior hero, God will prevail against all of Jeremiah's enemies; therefore, not only will Jeremiah continue to preach the word of the Lord, but will sing God's praises as well.

Psalm 69 is filled with images of water.  Now, for those of us who live near water or go to church here at St. Peter's, two blocks from the bay, this seems none too important.  But consider what these images would be like to someone who could not swim well.  Consider what these images were like to the Israelites -- a desert people who normally saw only enough water to wash in or to drink.  Now they are faced with an invasion of this foreign element that will rush down, cover, and drown them!  And so the psalmist speaks/cries out to the Lord to come and save him from his enemies before they roll over him like a flood.  Once again, the Lord is portrayed as a warrior hero...

Paul, in his letter to the church at Rome, has been talking about personal salvation and its benefits; but here, in the fifth chapter, he switches his focus to the universal salvation of humanity.  To discuss this, Paul separates time into two epochs or eras -- the first is the era of Adam, whom he portrays as a tragic hero in the Greek sense, and the second is the age of Jesus Christ, the redeeming hero.  In Greek tragedy, the hero is the one who causes a universal disaster; by the hero's action or trespass, evil befalls an entire nation.  By Adam's transgression, his sin, all of us are condemned -- truly a tragedy of cosmic proportion. 

And yet, there is hope -- the new era, the age in which we live, is that of Christ, the redeemer hero.  By the sacrifice of this redeeming hero, all are saved.  And this salvation is ours right now!  Already we have been saved, but not yet has this salvation been fully realized.  We live in this tension of already/not yet, and it is our task to bring about the full coming of the Kingdom of Heaven on earth, to work for the realization of Shalom...

So, we have readings about three types of heroes, with God being seen as both the warrior hero and the redeeming hero.  And yet, Jesus says in our Gospel reading that this does not mean that the world is safe.  I was recently reunited, after 17 years, with a friend, the Reverend Barbara Crafton, who sends out almost every day a motivational message via e-mail to her subscribers.  Her e-mo from Thursday, 6/14, had this to say:
   "Faith is not an amulet - a magic something you carry around with you to protect you
    from harm.  The cross around your neck is not an amulet - it doesn't protect you from
    harm.  It helps you to understand the place of harm in the overall scheme of our life, to
    discern the measures of bane and blessing that come your way, and see them each
    for what it is [sic].  Faith is what lives in you no matter what harm befalls.  It is the
    assurance of the presence of God through the worst of it."

Jesus himself tells us that we will still face harm, and even die, when he says not to fear those who kill only the body, but to fear very much that which kills both body and soul.  But God, both as warrior and redeemer, is aware with intense scrutiny of all that befalls us, since God is intensely aware even of the demise of sparrows...

Those of us fortunate enough to have heard the Bishop preach last week heard him tell the tale of a church in California that had a statue in front of a huge Christos with his arms outstretched to encompass the world.  One day it was vandalized - its hands were cut off - but the church decided not to have it repaired, feeling that it now served as a reminder that Christ has no hands in this world except us.  We are the hands of Christ in the world.

Now, in this dangerous world of ours, where we are to be the hands of Christ, what sort of hero would be appropriate for our world?  That of the stereotypical father.  I was lucky to have a dad like that, for my dad was my hero - a father who kept me safe, although not necessarily physically, for I still skinned my knees and fell from trees like any other kid.  But he kept me safe from the things that could damage my soul and spirit.  Some of you may not have been that fortunate, and may not a father who could be your hero.  But hopefully, you had a father-figure, someone who could be that guardian, guide, and safety net.  And if you didn't even have that, don't let that hold you back from being a father, or parent if you are a woman, to someone who needs it. 

That is my challenge, and my invitation to you on this Fathers' Day -- that you honor all those in your life who have parented you, and that you extend that in turn to those in your life who need parenting... not in the pat-on-the-head patronizing fashion, but in a nurturing and mentoring way.  So go out into the world, and parent well....   Amen

"Most humans...know the world, or think they do, but they don't know God.  They identify exclusively with their own physical and psychological form, unconscious of essence.  And because every form is highly unstable, they live in fear... If you remain in conscious connection with the Unmanifested, you value, love, and deeply respect the Unmanifested, and every life form in it as an _expression of the One Life... every form is destined to devolve again and...ultimately nothing out here matters all that much..." (Eckhart, p 139-140)

As we work with God for Shalom, for reconciliation of all things, it helps to remember what Eckhart says - that ontologically all things spring from and go back to that One LIfe, which is God.  God has made us in the image of Godself - that means that all of us have a piece, a part of God within us.  It also means that we never have far to go to be connected with and to God.  Not only is God indwelling in us but in those around us... If we are having trouble turning inward, going within to the inner body, connecting with God may be no further away than a friend, or neighbor, or spouse, or lover, or parent. 

All of creation is part of God, and reflects God - this is why any serious path towards Shalom must take into account the reconciliation of all creation to itself and to its Creator.  Heaven is eternally being consciously in the presence of God (of Being).

"True salvation is fulfillment, peace, life in all its fullness... to feel within you the good that has no opposite, the joy of Being that depends on nothing outside itself... and abiding presence... it is to 'know God' -- not as something outside you, but as your own innermost essence.  True salvation is to know yourself as an inseparable part of the timeless and formless One Life from which all that exists derives its being.  True salvation is a state of freedom -- from fear, from suffering, from a perceived state of lack and insufficiency and therefore from all wanting, needing, grasping, and clinging... Your mind is telling you...that you need time -- that you need to find, sort out, do, achieve, acquire, become, or understand something before you can be free or complete.  You see time as the means to salvation, whereas in truth it is the greatest obstacle to salvation... You 'get there' by realizing that you are there already.  You find God the moment that you don't need to seek God.  So there is no only way to salvation... However, there is only one point of access, the Now... There is nothing you can ever do or attain that will get you closer to salvation than it is at this moment... Nor can anything that you ever did or that was done to you in the past prevent you from saying 'yes' to what is, and taking your attention deeply into the Now." (pg 147)

Many times Xians in particular get caught up in the idea that only the perfect, or those trying to be perfect, are suitable candidates for heaven.  As Eckhart demonstrates, nothing could be farther from the truth.  We are as we are, and that is enough.  As we work towards becoming enlightened, towards being able to be present most of the time, our behaviors and outlooks change by definition, and so we become more "perfect", but that is a result of salvation, of being present... not a prerequisite.

This seems to be an Episcopal/Anglican view, and may be why i am not something else, although i have been to many different churches.  I no longer see salvation the way i once did, having more sensitivity and understanding...

There is no need to wait to obtain true salvation...

"Your mind is telling you...that you need time- that you need to find, sort out, do, achieve, acquire, become, or understand something before you can be free or complete.  You see time as the means to salvation, whereas in truth, it is the greatest obstacle to salvation... you get there by realizing that you are there already.  You find God the moment that you don't need to seek God.  So there is no only way to salvation... However, there is only one point of access - the Now... There is nothing you can ever do or attain that will get you closer to salvation than it is [to you] at this moment...Nor can anything that you ever did or that was ever done to you in the past prevent you from saying yes to what is and and taking your attention deeply into the Now." (Eckhart Tolle, p. 147)

and if true salvation is being one with God, being eternally present with God, in the Now....

"What is God? The eternal One Life underneath all forms of life.  What is love?  To feel the presence of that One LIfe deep within yourself and within all creatures. To be it.  Therefore, all love is the love of God." (Eckhart, p 155)

i met with Bishop Councell today, at his request.  We decided that i should defer my application to seminary for (still) another year, until 2006/2007.  this will give us an opportunity to pay down debt. 

i HATE being able to see all the sides of a situation.  right now all i want is to sit on the floor, pound my heels, and cry.  but the adult in me recognizes that it would not be fair to have a priest leave seminary with crushing (perhaps crippling debt), especially when the priest would be given fiduciary responsibility (trusted to handle $$)... plus Bishop Councell knows that it is a hard enough strain on a marriage just being a priest, let alone an indebted one...

i hear all that. i know all that.  and the bishop was very very very careful to stress that he truly believes i have a true calling.  so why do i feel like crying for a week?

<sigh>