December 14, 2006

• Peter Boyle died today... he had multiple myeloma.  although most folk probably know him better as the dad, Frank, on "Everybody Loves Raymond", i knew him best as the monster in "Young Frankenstein".  i love that movie, and i loved him in that movie....

  i finished my major paper for my Liturgics class.  i ended up working until 2:30AM wednesday morning, slept for 3 1/2 hours, got up at 6AM and worked until 11AM when i was finally done.  it ended up being eleven pages when the minimum was 10, and i hope i did an adequate job.  i hate that feeling when you have given everything you have but you still feel like there should have been something more you could have/should have said about the whole topic.... well, i put it in campus mail wed morning, and there's nothing more i can do about it.  it's in God's hands now. 

  tonight in group therapy we started to talk about sexual attraction within a group, its appropriateness, and its effects on a group.  i brought it up, because it's something that i've wanted to talk about before, plus it's an issue, or at least a potential one, at seminary and possibly in the future in a parish setting.  bk was really pleased that i brought it up because he says that's a passionate interest of his (imagine my eyebrow shooting up into my hair, ha ha ha) and he's even written a paper or two on it.  i know ces has wanted to talk about it before, but sz went off on a tangent that was equally good, and we never got to talk about it.  maybe next week... *sigh*

  we ended up talking about why talking about sex seems to be such a taboo for most people, and why i (and now bk) can talk about it without others reacting in horror.  apparently, according to ces, i "ask" for it > i think he meant that i am open about it, but it really didn't sound good the way he put it....   sz says it's because i never seem to be judgemental but always ready and willing to listen to what others have to  say.  bk didn't say how he views me,  which of course makes me want to know, intensely > the worst part is that i am sure he realizes how much i want to know now, and i am equally sure he wants it that way.  i don't know if he actually knows how much i do think about him and wonder what he thinks about me.  ces knows how i feel, but he'll never tell...

  sometimes i feel as if i am still in high school, crushing on guys... the worst part is that i can no longer do anything about it.  ces and i have talked about that, too.  i also brought up in group how hard it is to be married and have no idea if you are attractive any more, and no really acceptable way to find out...

  • 12:25 am
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