May 29, 2006
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i have been on vacation, and so i have not posted to my own site... i kept up on some others though....
this past weekend, we attended the bar mitzvah of Ces' son. the synagogue portion began at 9 AM, and was done about 1:00... then there was lunch.... then a 5 hour wait for the dinner/party portion.
i loved the synagogue part so much.... i do not read/write or speak Hebrew, but i did recognize words here and there, plus i felt professional interest in the service.
however, i am feeling residual guilt about something, and it won't let me rest....
Ces and i have a mutual friend, Ar, who is legally blind. Ar was invited to the bar mitzvah, but had no way to get there. we live about 15minutes from his house, while another friend, Sa, lives only 5 minutes from him, so we waited for her to offer to give him a ride -- she never did. so we offered to get him.
during the service, i could have left Ar to his own devices, i mean i am not related to him or dating him or anything. but he couldn't see, and everything was in Hebrew (or at least 90%) so i found myself not only explaining what was going on, but describing what the bima (stage) and the ark and the torah scrolls and everything looked like. even after our friends joined us, no one else even tried to help Ar out. at least for the Kiddush luncheon Sa helped me get Ar a plate of food, but for the dinner, i had to cut up all the food on his plate because he could not. donathan had to help him to the bathroom. if Ar needed or wanted to go anywhere, one of us had to go with... he is 39 years old and cannot even cut up his own food...
the band was most excellent, but when donathan and i came back from dancing 2 dances at the beginning of the night, we found that no one at the table was talking at all, least of all to Ar. even when we were all sitting there, if i didn't speak to Ar, no one did....
i really hated feeling like his caretaker all night.... and i feel really guilty that i feel that way....
Comments (8)
Got it re guilt. Many who are handicapped do not want excessive help. Many who are or are not handicapped are lonely and like attention. It is important to do our best in helping others....especially in developing relationships, to help the consciousness of the other. For example, if you want to commit more to the relationship with this guy, you need to explore if he can learn more...to make the base where he can understand you want to help..
Maybe you have a local blind edu place? In Miami Light house for the Blind is awesome. All about empowerment. New director also blind.
Good luck!
Don't feel bad. Help is a good thing, no matter what.:):wave:
RYC: I know romance isn't easy. Heck, I have a long time to go...but I guess I will learn along the way. I must depart now, seeing the rain storm is making my lights flicker.
:cry::wha: And, I honestly don't care to be ghetto, what ever that really means. Because I like being myself...so there people! Ha, and I guess I'll stay here at Xanga...
But, I am still happy! :spinning::sunny::fun::wave:
RYC: I don't know what the gyro was doing there, but yes, it was great.
RYC: LOL! I was writing fictionally! That's the side of my writing you don't see often! LOL
RYC: Someday women will read, and they'll send MEN TO THE MOON! Hahahahahah!
I laugh.
Sorry the food got browned. I hope your beating isn't overdrawn.
Perhaps a war on cats would be a good pick-me-up? If you want to try, come join the FQC in our noble causes...
*war on cat-haters
Thanks for stopping by my site. Sorry about the the stuff you have to deal with. On of my children went through this.
I am impressed by the pulchritude thing.
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