Month: May 2006

  • i have been on vacation, and so i have not posted to my own site... i kept up on some others though....


    this past weekend, we attended the bar mitzvah of Ces' son.  the synagogue portion began at 9 AM, and was done about 1:00... then there was lunch.... then a 5 hour wait for the dinner/party portion. 


    i loved the synagogue part so much.... i do not read/write or speak  Hebrew, but i did recognize words here and there, plus i felt professional interest in the service.


    however, i am feeling residual guilt about something, and it won't let me rest....


    Ces and i have a mutual friend, Ar, who is legally blind.  Ar was invited to the bar mitzvah, but had no way to get there.  we live about 15minutes from his house, while another friend, Sa, lives only 5 minutes from him, so we waited for her to offer to give him a ride -- she never did.  so we offered to get him.


    during the service, i could have left Ar to his own devices, i mean i am not related to him or dating him or anything. but he couldn't see, and everything was in Hebrew (or at least 90%) so i found myself not only explaining what was going on, but describing what the bima (stage) and the ark and the torah scrolls and everything looked like.  even after our friends joined us, no one else even tried to help Ar out.  at least for the Kiddush luncheon Sa helped me get Ar a plate of food, but for the dinner, i had to cut up all the food on his plate because he could not.  donathan had to help him to the bathroom.  if Ar needed or wanted to go anywhere, one of us had to go with... he is 39 years old and cannot even cut up his own food...


    the band was most excellent, but when donathan and i came back from dancing 2 dances at the beginning of the night, we found that no one at the table was talking at all, least of all to Ar.  even when we were all sitting there, if i didn't speak to Ar, no one did....


    i really hated feeling like his caretaker all night.... and i feel really guilty that i feel that way....

  • For Ashton....love, Geneviève


    You were a gift
    for which I asked but did not expect...


    I know your touch:
    you know my kiss.
    Our minds entwine in ways
    our bodies yet cannot.


    Ten days --
    the universe was created in less....


    I pine for the sight of you.
    I strain for the sound of your voice.
    No more ardent was ever
    Shakespeare than I.
    I hunger for your ideas and
    reflection of myself.


    Like a storm, you swept my heart clean,
    and took up residence.

  • Be Careful What You Ask For -- A Princely Quest


    A tale told by Charlotte


    Once upon a time…. there lived a prince.  Because it was a law, he was handsome. dark. virile.  But, also by fiat, he had to spend his days in idleness… doing prince things that rapidly became boring… How many princesses can you rescue?  How many horses can you ride? 


    And so, he decided to go on a quest – a quest not to be bored.  He could go on a quest because it was in his job description – he could not have a job because it was NOT in his job description.  This paradox could never be explained.  How could it be a job description if it specified that no job could be held?  Now… on with the quest…


     


    He was bored with riding.  He was even bored with his mother’s magic carpet...and so he decided to walk… (The court falls over in a dead faint at this horrendous turn of events...)  Now, you might ask, “Which mom owned the carpet?” to which I must reply, “His mom – there has to be a mother, a queen, for there to be a prince.  This is another law in that country.”  


    “No gay kings?” you ask.  “Well, he could have two dads, for the regency and for raising him, but genetically speaking, there had to be a mother of royal blood… Why are we analyzing the laws of this country anyway? Do I look like an advocate? a lawyer?”


     


    So, our handsome, virile, dark, and by now sweaty prince continued tramping on his quest.  He trodged through his kingdom – well, his father’s kingdom… I guess it was his princedom.  Until finally he came to the border of the Forbidden Forest, and stood at the edge of the cool woods, staring at the trees, wondering for the life of him why the forest was forbidden, when it looked perfectly fine to him.  But he decided it was covered by the legal code anyway, so he might as well not get a royal headache over it when some advocate already had done that, and so he ventured in…


     


    At first he was so grateful for the shade, the cool relief of filtered green light after the warm spring sun, that he found himself actually enjoying the walk, unaccustomed though he was to that sort of activity.  On the edges of the forest he saw squirrels gamboling, occasionally pelting him with sticks or nuts from their arboreal perches.  His laughter at their antics sounded oddly muffled by the trees, however, and he felt increasingly disinclined to disturb the silence. 


     


    Further in, he saw deer peeking around the trunks of trees, darting off as he approached.  He heard them crash through the undergrowth briefly, before the silence of the forest closed in around him once more.  Oddly, the silence did not make him nervous – it was not that kind of silence, but more one of things old and undisturbed, things which thought and considered before the haste of action.  It suited his legally enforced leisure, and he felt strangely at home.


     


    Despite the coolness the trees provided, he began to realize that he was thirsty and tired.  Fortunately, he had remembered to bring provisions – that was covered in the Questing Manual for Princes – now he just had to find some place to rest and eat.  Peering ahead in the gloom, he spotted a clearing.


    The cabin was a surprise to him, and he began to stride towards it with the proper princely arrogance.  But… but…


     


    But the long walk through the sentient silence had worked a wonder in his heart, and he found that being a pompous prince was perhaps not what he wanted to portray as a first impression.  And so, he paused.  And he thought.  His head ached with the effort (where were the lawyers when you needed them?) but he finally recalled how his tutors had behaved when they approached him, and he thought how he had always thought well of them (when he thought of them at all).  Figuring he had nothing to lose, he approached the clearing.


     


    “Halloo the cabin!” his voice, trained to carry across the battlefield, echoed in the stillness.  Even the birds stopped their gossip.  “Hallo! A traveler approaches requesting …” what did he request? Oh, yes! “A traveler approaches requesting a place to rest!”  Nothing moved.  Nothing stirred.  The cabin appeared empty.  The prince stepped forward, keeping his hand well away from the hilt of his sword so as not to make the bad impression he wanted to avoid. 


     


    When he reached the center of the clearing, he heard an odd rattling, like bones or dead leaves.  Wheeling about, he came face to chest with… a dragon. His breath caught in his throat, not from fear, but from the sheer beauty of her, silhouetted against the sky.  It was the furling of her wings that he had heard – her descent from flight had been soundless.  Later, they would marvel that he had known her gender, but in the moment, it just seemed to him as if everything about her was apparent – she was the ultimate mystery without surprise.


     


    “Hi”, he said lamely.  “Hallo yourself!” her voice was low and well-modulated, except for the sibilant sss… hard to overcome when your tongue is forked… “I was hoping to shelter in your clearing…” His voice turned the statement into a question.  “Why settle for the clearing when you can use the cabin?” her voice was amused. “Didn’t you notice that I am a bit … long… for the dwelling?”  She shifted her weight, and her long tail swept into view.  He noticed that the sun glinted off her scales in sparks of gold and green.


     


    “Cool!” His grin lit up his face, and she could see the young man shine through the princely façade.  She led him across the glade, and opened the door to her cabin.  “Once you get settled, why don’t you come back outside, and we can break our fasts and talk?”  She glanced over her shoulder at the prince, noticing how his dark hair gleamed like polished ebony in the sun.


     


    The interior of her cabin was suffused with green light from the trees that surrounded it.  He found it well stocked with hundreds of years of books – philosophy and theology mostly.  But there, on the shelf next to the bed, he saw his favorite book, a novel rich with the many layers of his nation’s mythology, and he scooped it up and ran outside with it.  “Have you read this too?” he asked, excitedly.  “Of course,” she smiled good-naturedly.  He was sure of her good nature, even though her smiling lips unveiled teeth as large and pointed as his sword.  “You must remember that I have lived much longer than you, you are young even for a human, and I have need to occupy my time.  Reading is the most pleasant way to do that, I have found.”  


     


    “You don’t seem old at all to me,” the prince responded gallantly.  “Your scales are still gleaming gold and green and have not faded at all!” “Flatterer!” She preened under his praise.  “And you are quite sensible for a young human – I can see you are on a quest, since you have the requisite provisions according to the Questing Manual for Princes.  That is still the standard text, I presume?”  And thus began a most congenial conversation, interspersed with draughts of water (the dragon promised wine for dinner) and bread and cheese and sausages. 


     


    It wasn’t until the shadows lengthened and the air grew chilly that the prince noticed how much time had passed.  He and the dragon went into the forest and gathered up much of the dry, fallen tree limbs that lay about.  She was quite good at disguising how much she could carry so that she didn’t threaten his ego, for she did not want to lose his company.  He noticed her efforts, and was extraordinarily grateful, for it meant that he did not have to stomp off in a huff to preserve his princely dignity, and he did not want to lose her company.  For the first time in his young life, he realized he was not bored, and had not been for… could it be eight hours?


     


    Once the wood for a proper fire had been laid, she breathed on it, and the dry logs crackled into flame.  “What is your name?” she asked him, somewhat shyly in the intimate circle of light created by the fire.  “Ashton of the line of Bogus,” he replied, “And you would be…” Her head dipped coyly, “Genevieve… just Genevieve.”  “Did you say something about dinner?” he asked.  “Yes, and wine!” she replied, with laughter in her voice.  Soon a haunch of meat was spitted and roasting, and a bottle of excellent merlot was opened, and they began toasting.


     


    “Here’s to being bored and craving adventure”


    “Here’s to believing in hospitality and being prepared for guests”


    “Here’s to liking the same sorts of literature”


    “Here’s to not being afraid to have an intellectual discussion with a female”


    “Here’s to not being afraid to have an intellectual discussion with a dragon…”


     


    When that last toast left his lips, he realized with an instantly sinking heart that he might have crossed a line.  Craning forward, he thought he saw a crystal tear slide its way down her snout.  Reaching out, he touched her shoulder, surprised to find her scales not at all hard, but firmly pliant, and surprisingly warm.  He ran his hand along her side, and murmured, “I’m so sorry.  I spoke before I thought.  I would rather die than have hurt you.  Please forgive me.”  With a shock, he realized that he truly had hurt her, and threw his arms around her neck.  “Please don’t cry!  I am so so sorry.  You are too beautiful and wise and wonderful and exotic to ever be hurt, especially by me!”  He buried his face in her warm hide.


     


    On his cheek he thought he felt a feather-light touch, and realized it was her tongue, flicking out to caress his skin.  “You feel quite rough!” she was surprised.  “I haven’t shaved,” his muffled voice tickled against her neck.  “It is quite nice,” she responded.  “So is this,” he said, burrowing further against her.  She curled her body and tail around him, as he snuggled into her side.  Their eyelids became heavy, as they watched the fire go out together.  They slept, entwined together in an unlikely embrace, each aware that their lives had changed completely and nothing would be the same again.


     


    In the morning, nothing was said, but it was understood that Ashton of the line of Bogus was going to stay, and the clearing seemed brighter for it.  And laughter became a frequent sound in that clearing, although thought still prevailed over action. 


     


     

  • now... i had read with interest the Q & A from Bishop Spong, since i had known him as a controversial figure in the Episcopal church, particularly within New Jersey... it would never have occurred to me to equate the pagan practice of child sacrifice with the crucifixion.  i am at odds with him as well as to it (child sacrifice) being predominate in Jewish tradition.  it was exactly because Jewish practice/Hebrew worsip experience repudiated child sacrifice that the story of Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his son becomes so powerful - his willingness to be obedient to God even when God is asking him to do something that God, Godself, has forbidden...


    As far as the sacrifice of the paschal lamb goes, i believe the concept of sacrificing the first born lamb reflects back to the practice of giving all first ruits of any endeavor to God.  if you might reacll, this was an issue between Cain and Abel, back in Genesis.  For Yom Kippur, it was not so much that an animal was sacrificed > the practice was to bring forward a goat, first born male without blemish, and the high priest would, in the name of all the people, place his hands on the head of the goat to transfer all the sins of the people into that goat.  the goat was then allowed to escape into the wilderness (the probable origin of the term "scape goat")...  it is only with respect to the reception of the sins of the people upon an innocent that the Yom Kippur observence resembles the crucifixion.


    part of what limits Bishop Spong's interpretation of the crucifixion , in my opinion (and if i might be so bold as to disagree with a bishop), is his lack of belief (or apparent lack of belief) in the Trinity.  Jesus was so much more than a, or even The, Child of God> Jesus was God, Godself.  so it was not simply God sending God's son to death ona cross ,but God taking that role willingly upon Godself... to paraphrase John's gospel, "God loved the world so much that God gave Godself to the end that all who believe... "


    there is no way to deny that being in covenant with YHWH involves blood.  that is the point of circumcision.  there is no oath stronger than a blood oath, and the Hebrews bound themselves to God with their blood, and the blood of their children.  that said, only the willingly given lifeblood of one who was fully, completely, perfectly human, and yet at the same time fulland completely possessing the power and divinity of God could represent both sides of the covenant and redeem us all...


    and it is because of his lack of understanding of the Trinity that Bishop Spong misses that this act of self-sacrifice demonstrates the identity of God more than anything else... our Triune God is the Lover - Creator God... the Belovéd - Redeemer God... and the Love That Binds - the Holy Spirit.  we, as part of God's good creation, are continually swept up in that dance of love and spirit... the love that would give any thing to redeem us and bring all of us (believer and non-believer alike) back into that wondrous dance.   God loves us.  God is love by definition.  and it is that definition that redeems us all...

  • Bishop Spong, the retired Bishop of the Diocese of Newark (NJ, Episcopal) was asked the following question by Allan Hytowitz via e-mail: "How do you personally, and Christian doctirne in particular, reconcile the contradiction of that biblical prohibition against child sacrifice with the claim that 'God sacrificed his [sic] child' in explaining the horrific death of Jesus? It seems to me that rather than the 'sacrifice of Jesus' being of benefit to Christians, it serves more to threaten them with death and/or eternal punishment if they are not obedient to the wishes and decrees of the Church."


    Part of Bishop Spong's response reads, "I think you have hit the Christological nail right on the head.  The whole sacrifice mentality that permeates Christian theology needs to be raised to consciousness and expelled from Christianity... Child sacrifice was part of ancient religion even in Judaism as the story of Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his son Isaac suggests.  It was later replaced with animal sacrifice that was very much a part of worship in the Old Testament.  The Passover observance was marked byt the sacrifice of the paschal lamb.  Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, was also marked by the sacrifice of the Lamb of God, whose blood was thought to cleanse the people from their sins.  It was all but inevitable that the crucificion of Jesus would be interpreted against the background of these two Jewish worship traditions... Even the story of the cross in which we are told , 'none of his [Jesus'] bones were broken' was drawn from the liturgy of the Yom Kippur sacrifice.  Because that was how the 1st century Jews interpreted the death of  Christ does not mean that we are bound by that thinking forever.  Humand attitudes toward child sacrifice are today violently negative.  Attitudes towards animal sacrifice are expressed in such words as 'cult worship', 'black magic', and 'dveil liturgies'.  I wonder why these negative concepts are not allowed to flow toward the interpretation of Jesus' death as a sacrifice required by God to overcome the sins of the world.  That idea makes God barbaric.  It makes Jesus the victim of a sadistic deity.  It introduces masochism int oChristianity and it deeply violates the essential note of the Gospel, which is that God is love calling us to love.  Why can we not see the cross, not as a sacrifice, but as an ultimate expression of teh humanity of one who was so whole he could give his life away and of one who wanted to demonstrated that even when you kill the love of God, the love of God still loves its killers?  why can we not get away from that message of guilt and control that is found in the pious but destructive phrase 'Jesus died for my sins'?  I believe that the future of Christianity rests on our ability in the Christian Church to aescapte the language of sacrifice and punishment and begin to think in terms of finding in Jesus the power to live fully, the grace to lvoe wastefully, and the courage to be all that we can be."

  • i have met a new friend... lately i am meeting lots of new people, mostly from xanga, but a few from online... some (most) of the IMers are looking for hookups, which is odd since my profile is quite clear as to marital status. 


    but it is nice to get the opportunity to talk to people from other places with other viewpoints.  i met someone from sweden, Rf, who has the most interesting job > market researcher with a specialization in experiential design.  as Rf explains it, you come with a new business, say a boutique, and an idea about what you want to sell, and the sort of clientel you wish to attract, and he will design the layout, the customer flow, the work flow, in essence, the entire experience.  sort of like feng shui meets industrial design...


    Rf speaks 6 languages, since his father was in the diplomatic corps in sweden, and that made me feel like a doofus, since i only speak two... my poor attempts at spanish are laughable, and my german is horrid!  but i am determined to learn more!  he got his baccalaureat in marketing and his mba, so we had a really spirited discussion about micro vs macro economics, and the merits of capitalism (he) vs socialism (she)...


    it was so much fun... we also talked about the origin of the myths prevalent in tolkien, and the bastardization of Christianity (and religion in general) at the hands of the institutionalized church...


    i haven't felt so much like i met a kindred spirit in forever... we even like the same types of music...