Month: February 2006

  • Happiness depends on conditions being perceived as positive; inner peace does not.  Neither does joy.


    "Do you truly know what is positive and what is negative? Do you have the total picture? ... Whenever anything negative happens to you there is a deep lesson concealed within it... Seen from a higher perspective, conditions...are neither positive nor negative.  They are as they are.  And when you live in complete acceptance of what is, there is no "good" or "bad" in your life anymore. There is only a higher good...


    [This "allowing to be"] is an essential aspect of forgiveness.  Forgiveness of the present is even more important than forgiveness of the past.  If you forgive every moment, allow it to be as it is, then there will be no accumulation of resentment... You can be at peace. There may be sadness and tears, but provided you have relinquished resistance, underneath the sadness you will feel a deep serenity, a stillness, a sacred presence... The ultimate effect of all the evil and suffering in the world is that it will force humans into realizing who they are, beyond name and form...  What we perceive as evil from our limited perspective is actually part of the higher good that has no opposite. This, however, does not come true for you except through forgivenes..." (Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now, pp 177-180)


    " If science and spirit are investigating the nature of unlimited reality - and, obviously, the more unlimited it is, the closer to reality - then they ought to eventually cross paths.  The oldest known scriptures, the Vedas, talk about the physical world as illusion, "maya".  Quantum physics says reality is not the way we see it; rather, it is at best, mostly empty, but really more like waves of insubstantial no-thing."  (Will Arentz, What The Bleep Do We Know, p 25)


    "Both Hindu and Buddhist seers taught, and still teach, that the world of apprearances, the world we see with out senses, is maya, or  illusion, and that something underlies this material realm, something that is more powerful and more fundamental, more 'real' even though it's completely intangible."
    - Plato suggested this with his philosophy of the realm of ideals -
    "This is precisely what quantum physics is revealing. It suggests that at the core of the physical world there is a completely non-physical realm... If this view is correct, we would have to say that this underlying field of intelligence is, deep down, what the universe "really" is." (What the Bleep..., p 37)

  • Lullaby
    Hush my love now
    don't you cry
    Everything will be all right
    Close your eyes and drift in dream
    Rest in peaceful sleep


    If there's one thing I hope
    I showed you
    Hope I showed you

    Just give love to all


    Oh my love in my arms tight
    Every day you give me life
    As I drift off to your world
    We'll rest in peaceful sleep


    I know there's one thing that
    You showed me
    That you showed me


    Just give love to all
    Let's give love to all....


    The song is by Creed... and it goes out to Jm and Rk... mostly to Rk because he and i live it, but Jm needs it too...


    After more than 31 years, Jm and Bj are calling it quits.  more a matter of inertia, it seems than discord. it is hard to fight complacency unless we make it a priority.  when i was about 12, i decided that i wanted my tombstone to read, at the very least, "she was never boring", and so with that in mind, i have (mostly) kept complacency at bay.


    But how do you fight complacency in a marriage when one of you is too tired/overwhelmed/depressed to change, or to even see the need to change?


    i knew that we were getting stale afer only 7 years, and so i started to wear hotter clothes, and makeup, and do little sexy things... sometimes Donathan noticed, sometimes not, but I felt better -- less mousey and boring.  but donathan doesn't want to change or do, and so i can see Bj's point.  no matter how much i love Jm, he likes his orderly routine, and values that.  if you crave excitement, then you had best go make your own, and come back to Jm's calm space, and bring some of the craziness back with you... hopefully he will embrace that.


    that is what i hope for me and donathan... but i guess it didn't work for Jm and Bj.  i hope they can dissolve this amicably and let each other keep what is important, not snatching things up because the other person wants them...


    "Behold, I am doing a new thing..."


    and to the one with whom i share the music and , many many  

  • i realized (can u say coup de feu) that the reason Rk's decisions were bothering me was because Jm had hurt me over similar stuff and way bad at that... that's what i get for forgetting that they are not the same man... oh well... live and learn...

    everything is back to normal on that front, at least... and maybe more so...


    "At this late date, the coin remains split, with religion on one side and science on the other. Why?  Not because reality is split, but because the adherents of this worldview are people. Remember why people don't ask Great Questions? Because the answer they get may not be what they want it to be.  What if the mind and matter are not split? What if there are observable feedback loops between the two?  It's the 21st century, and yet science still refuses to look at this...."


    In Hebrew there is not a separate word for body and mind - it is all one.  In Greek, however, there is soma for body and psyche for mind - what used to be an integrated whole became split...


    How has this dualism affected the way you perceive yourself and reality?

  •  ok, i've had some quality sleep over the weekend.  i think i have the stressing under control...  the obsessing, too...  i know people are simply trying to be helpful when they tell me that i obsess and brood... but i'm not so sure that it is (helpful, i mean), since then i worry that i am obsessing about worrying, and i end up deciding not to let people see what is going on with me at all...


    one of the issues i've identified is that i am having trouble trusting people.  which fact surprised the excrement out of me, but its truth is undeniable.  just because someone hurt me, i now apparently believe deep inside that others in the same situation will do the same... not only is this sad, but distressing....


    Jm hurt me terribly, but Rk never has, not even a hint of it. and yet, if i am not vigilant, i find i project Jm's actions onto Rk... not fair at all, but there all the same.  so maybe it hasn't been Rilke that's been the problem, just ... overidentification...


    and to the one with whom i share the music and the longing,  and