January 30, 2006
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i don't care what i may have implied before - this unconditonal, Rilkean love is frakkin' hard!
when i want to say things like "no, listen to me" or "no, don't shut me out", i can't... i have to say what my
wants me to say, and so i say "whatever you need"... and i mean it 
but being loving is also scary, especially trying not to control...
i don't like that part
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