One day, only one day, after the elation of learning they were selected to host the Olympic Games of 2012, Londoners are faced with the devastation of a terrorist attack.  In thinking about his, having this reality sink into my experience, I realize that what I am experiencing as ineffable sadness contains an equal part of righteous anger.  I am pissed as hell!

Whou could have the temerity to bomb, to shatter, the Shalom of God's world like that?  What on earth could make people think that destroyoing innocent, unkown and unknowing lives could ever make a legitimate political statement?  Jn would tell me that these sort of people are interested neither in a political statement nor legitimacy.  Jn was also correct in saying all this has done has been to harden the resolve of those who remain and witness to resist these (and any) terrorists...

We have lived with terrorism in this country, as well as abroad, for decades - just listen to Paul Simon's "A Church Is Burning", or Lena Horne singing "Strange Fruit"; think about the attacks on abortion clinics and doctors in the 80's and 90's... the Basques... the IRA.. the Serbians (who claimed responsibliity in the bombing of Laguardia Airport that killed my great-aunt)... Kent State and the National Guard...now Al Queda... They all do great acts of evil in order to paralyze the good.  But we will not, cannot, be paralyzed by the fear they create. "They can burn down my churches, but I will be free"  Paul Simon 

For now, all we can do is teach and parent well, work towards Shalom, and pray... hold each other as we mourn...

Jn says that evil is stronger than good, and he makes a well-reasoned case for it when he remarks that it takes months to erect a building, but mere seconds to destroy it.  I would add that it takes years to build a relationship, but again seconds to destroy it.... A neighborhood takes many years to grow into a cohesive enclave, but once a devisive or violent element encroaches, it can decay in months.  Today I learned there are over 1,000,000 gang members in the United States - what does that say for the future of our neighborhoods?  Plainfield has never recovered from the riots of nearly 40 years gone...

There is no way I can quibble with Jn's observations - evidence does suggest that evil is stronger than good.  My objection is to the conclusion.  I believe there is evil in the world, for we see its effect, and I believe that it is a powerful force.  What I do not concede is that evil is stronger than good.  I know evil to be the antithesis of good, of God -- it is the not-God, le néant of Ellul.  This néant, this nothingness, is the true opposite of God's good Creation -- it is the ally of chaos and entropy.  And this is where we start to get at the truth of the nature of good and evil.

Just as in nature all things devolve from a state of order (higher engergy) into chaos (a state of low energy) without a corresponding input of energy, evil is easy and lazy.  It requires little energy.  Order, creation, requires energy -- requires work and participation.  It is not easy to do good.  This does not imply that good is weaker.  If that were so, there would be no hope for Shalom, no order or love left in this world, for evil has had its opportunity for a very long time.

Good is not easily conquered.  Every time lovers meet in a park, or kiss in the silvered moonlight... every time a parent consoles a heart-sick child... every time a friend reaches out a hand to a friend... every time strangers respond to the plight of strangers... This is the energy of participation in goodness, in the continuing work of God's good Creation, in Shalom.  This is the light that drives away le néant, the nothingness, that is evil.

Goodness is light and love -- blazing with energy and life.  Evil is nothingness, a black pit of entropy and death.  Love is stronger than death, stronger than death on a cross.  Good will triumph -- all that is required is your participation.  Evil will only triumph when good people are silent, are lazy, do not participate.

if you wanted a house in the Hamptons, or even in subhurban New Jersey, it is a little late to tell me now... if you want a Lexus, Beemer, or even a high-performance domestic car, you had better tell me now.  these things are not part of the world i am striving to create for myself, for us, and i need to know now how you really feel.  i cannot change directions very much longer - there is truly an intensely limited window of opportunity.

Dj and i have been fighting.  it used to be much harder, but now has beome easier, almost frighteningly so; as it gets closer to the realization of the fruits of my postulancy, it seems as if reality is setting in.  when it was something that would not require him to change, not his lifestyle, not where he lived, not his job, he was all for it; now he is seeing that he, too, must change in order for this to become a reality.  first the debt-reduction > i know he had always intended to accomplish that goal, but at his own pace, and now another has taken charge of telling him what to do and when to do it.  now the reality that we might have to move (meaning he will have to find another job) once i am ordained.  plus the realization that we now have all of the material wealth we will probably ever have...

if you don't want to go somewhere/do something, tell me right away -- don't wait until we are packed and ready to go to say no.  especially if i have been viewing this as my escape, my vacation.  tell me up front.  and don't one year not only pretend to like/understand a hobby, but buy me equipment to pursue it, and then get angry and pout when i do pursue it some years down the road.  be upfront. be honest.  stop leading me on.  no one expects someone to never change their mind, to never alter an opinion, but it is expected that when that does happen, a discussion (renegotiation if you like) will occur.  you shouldn't unilaterally change the rules.

so Dj is living in the future with his past pain as his companion; and half the time i get warped into joining him... Rk and i, on the other hand, tend to be shifting our focus from Now to 'what maybe should have been' - a wonderful street to visit, but so dangerous a dwelling... Ces keeps me anchored - he and i are able to discuss the difficulties of living in the Now, of not getting ahead, or behind, ourselves...

and to the one with whom i share the and the music, i send you